


japril deserved better

by thelanterncity



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Episode: s14e23 Cold As Ice, F/M, Ficlet, Fix-It of Sorts, mentions of death and perilous situations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 06:55:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16470881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelanterncity/pseuds/thelanterncity
Summary: artemis rewrites parts of the japril storyline for her own sanity





	japril deserved better

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this months ago when i was in the height of my rage towards grey's anatomy and their bullshit so it's not great but it's something!! there's more rewritten but unedited scenes that i'll get to eventually? stay tuned?

_I want you to promise me something. If you love someone, you tell 'em. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing, even if you're scared it'll cause problems, even if you're scared that it will burn your life to the ground. You say it, and you say it loud._

* * *

Sitting by April's bedside, gazing at her unconscious figure, Mark's words were the only thing Jackson could think of.

  
Seeing April, sweet April, with her bright red hair and bright spirit, lying on an operating table, blue and lifeless. Bursting into the OR, seeing her frozen cold body, seeing the flatline -- she was dying, _dead_.

  
Three hours. She had been there for three hours and he hadn't known. He had run through the halls as fast as he could, wanting to see her, help her, be near her. Hold her.

  
He wanted _her_. He never stopped wanting her, even when it felt like he shouldn't, even when he didn't know it; but he realized too late, because she might never wake up to hear him say it.

  
She was right here in front of him, heart beating again, hand warm in his, and he would never get to make it right. He might have thought God was spiting him. Penance for wasting all the opportunities he's had with her. If that were true, he figured he deserved it.

  
“I know you're here,” he found himself saying quietly, as if he were sharing a secret. Not to April, but to her God. “I believe that. I want to believe.” He squeezed April's hand, hot tears in his eyes. “I will. I will believe, okay? I'll do whatever you want. I'll do anything. If you exist, please - just, don't take her away. Don't - don't take April away. Please.”

  
A squeeze of his hand drew him out of his sobs. He looked down at their clasped hands to see April's slender fingers move to grip his palm.

  
“April?” Another squeeze. Jackson tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, watching and waiting. “April, it's me. I'm right here.”

  
April. April, with her kind heart and generous soul. April -- his best friend, his person, his sun.

  
April, who opened her eyes.


End file.
